Are you trying to figure out how to talk to your children about your upcoming divorce? You know it's coming. You and your spouse are sure you're going to split up. You just need to break the news to them and get that conversation started.
The key, some experts note, is to think like your children. Consider it from their perspective. Adults have very different worries and concerns.
For instance, as an adult, you may be thinking about the legal paperwork and the court dates. You may be worried about your financial situation. You may be thinking about what to do with student loan debt or the family home. You have practical concerns.
Children, however, may ask themselves questions like:
- Is the divorce my fault?
- Do my parents still love me?
- Who am I going to live with?
- Where am I going to live?
- Do I have to go to a new school?
- Do I have to make new friends?
To adults, some of these things feel inconsequential. You know that your 10-year-old is going to have plenty of friends. You know that the divorce is not their fault. You don't think it matters, in the grand scheme of things, where they go to school.
But it's important to remember that these things are very important to your children. These are the things that define their lives. They are not minor details. Kids want reassurance, and they want to know their parents are listening. Be prepared to talk about these issues and concerns.
As you move forward with your divorce, make sure you also know what legal steps to take regarding your children and your relationship with them.