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Marriage and divorce with unmet expectations

| Mar 9, 2020 | Family Law & Divorce

One reason that couples get divorced is that their expectations for marriage do not line up with the reality of marriage. They feel let down and discouraged. There may not be one big event where their spouse does something wrong, but they know that the marriage is not what they envisioned and not what they wanted.

For some people, it’s just the end of the “honeymoon phase.” They thought that the marriage would be an endless experience of love and passion. In reality, though, they have to deal with daily life: doing dishes, doing laundry, going to work, taking care of children. It’s not all exciting and fun, and the relationship can change drastically.

In many cases, what people thought their spouse would do during the marriage isn’t at all how that spouse thought they would act. For instance, maybe one person thought they would share the household chores, while the other person thought their new spouse would do those chores exclusively. Pretty soon, they’ll both feel frustrated because they want different things and different roles, and those desires will never line up.

Young couples especially struggle with unmet expectations simply because they have little experience. With a second marriage at age 45, you may know what to expect, but a 23-year-old getting married for the first time sees everything through rose-colored glasses and may be distressed to find out what their marriage is really like.

When this does lead to divorce, it’s important for both people to know what legal steps they have to take to end the marriage and what rights they have.