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Tips for the new co-parent

Your marriage is over. Your spouse asked for a divorce and ended the relationship. However, you had kids together, so that relationship will never really end. It just changes. Now you're not romantically involved, but you're still co-parents.

How can you adjust to this change? What do you need to do to make things go well for you and the kids? Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

  • Enjoy the free moments you have when your kids are with your ex. Many parents find this hard, and that's understandable, but you'll live a low-stress life if you just accept it and use that free time to your benefit.
  • Understand that you both need to be flexible. The parenting plan guides you, but life is unpredictable. Be ready to bend when needed and ask your ex to do the same.
  • Always put the kids first. There is no more important rule. Every decision you make has to put them ahead of yourself.
  • Encourage that relationship with your ex. Don't tell the children not to text, call, write or talk online. Let them do it. Understand that, no matter how you feel, it's best for them if they have a strong relationship with both of you.
  • Be respectful of your ex, of their rights, and of their time with the kids. Make the drop-offs on time. Pick the kids up on schedule. Don't try to infringe on their time or steal little bits of it for yourself.

For children, low-conflict divorce is the hardest

A lot of time and research has gone into looking at how divorce really impacts children. Researchers warn against assuming it is always a negative event, for instance, noting that children who are trapped in high-conflict homes may actually see it as a positive. They did not have the life they wanted or needed when the parents were together and not getting along, so things improved after the divorce -- even though that meant splitting time with Mom and Dad.

That said, studies have found that the most difficult divorces for children are the ones where the parents have a low-conflict marriage. While that low-conflict marriage is better for the kids while it lasts -- naturally, not having conflict in the home is a positive -- it is more unsettling for them when it ends because it's harder for them to understand why it happened.

Most people want to buy a home by 28

Buying a home is on the to-do list for most people, right along with getting a college degree, getting married, starting a career and having kids. It's one of the standard boxes that many individuals want to check off in their lives. Buying your first home is a major event.

When do most first-time homebuyers want to make their purchase? It can be a little intimidating. Studies have found that most people think they should buy a first home by age 28 -- or, at least, that's what they want to do.

Did you remember to update your estate plan after your divorce?

Life can be hectic during and immediately after your divorce. Your routines may change and your to-do list may grow. It can be difficult to juggle the paperwork, payments and decisions that come with divorce, as well as your regular day-to-day activities like feeding the dog and taking your kids to school.

With everything going on, it is completely understandable that a few things may get lost in the shuffle. However, there is no way to know what the future may hold, so it may be wise to update your estate plan sooner rather than later.

How your kids think about your divorce

Are you trying to figure out how to talk to your children about your upcoming divorce? You know it's coming. You and your spouse are sure you're going to split up. You just need to break the news to them and get that conversation started.

The key, some experts note, is to think like your children. Consider it from their perspective. Adults have very different worries and concerns.

DUI convictions potentially compromised by test recall

Those who were already convicted on DUI charges in Minnesota could have another chance to plead their case. Hundreds of test kits were recently recalled, and they may compromise thousands of cases.

Some claim that the cases could actually get thrown out, as the evidence won't stand. This has been called "a scientific screw-up of epic proportions."

Divorce and the main reasons couples split up

To some degree, you don't want to get hung up on the reasons why other couples end their marriages. Every relationship is different. You could wind up getting divorced for reasons that have nothing to do with anyone else's experience.

At the same time, though, it can be helpful to look at some of the reasons so that you know why divorce usually happens. This way, you can look for red flags in your own relationship, and you can be ready when divorce arrives. With that in mind, here are some of the top reasons:

  • Your spouse is abusive. This abuse could be emotional, physical or financial, just to name a few.
  • Your spouse is unfaithful. It may be a one-time event or it could be an ongoing relationship.
  • Your spouse does not think of you as an equal. This can lead them to treat you as an inferior and make you feel like you need a healthier relationship.
  • Your spouse expects things from the marriage that you can never provide. Unmet expectations may cause a divorce, even when they're not fair to begin with.
  • Stress about money. Once you're married, not being able to pay the bills feels like a bigger issue -- especially if you blame your spouse for wasting the family's money and causing you all of these financial troubles in the first place.

Hemp-based products leading to legal headaches for some users

Despite the lethal dangers of drugs like opioids, one of the most controversial drugs in the United States continues to be marijuana. This is because the legal status of the drug and its derivative products is always changing. State laws don’t match one another, and many states don’t conform to federal laws.

Products derived from marijuana and hemp have started to become legal, largely because most contain only trace amounts of THC, which is the high-causing ingredient in marijuana. But a patchwork of state/federal laws combined with varying manufacturing standards means that some people are getting arrested for drug crimes even when using or possessing a completely legal product.

Parenting time agreements can mitigate conflict, stress

Dividing time with your children is an aspect of divorce parents don’t enjoy. Sure, you want the other parent in their life, but being away from your child is difficult. While the negotiation process is hard, cooperatively negotiating a parenting agreement clearly lays out who is responsible for the child and when. Such an agreement can prevent some conflict and confusion.

 

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1287 2nd Street North
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Sauk Rapids, MN 56379

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