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Thinking of divorce? Ask these questions

You may have divorce on the mind, but you're not sure if it's the right time or not. After all, this isn't something you can take back once you say it. You want to be sure before you talk to your spouse.

To help you decide where you stand, try asking the following questions:

  • Have you communicated clearly? Does your spouse know how you feel about the relationship and what concerns you have?
  • If you could choose how you'd change the relationship, what would you pick? Is it something that your spouse would never consider?
  • Are you unhappy because you both have different expectations for the marriage?
  • Do you love your spouse but feel like you have to end the marriage for other reasons? Or have you fallen out of love with him or her?
  • How would you feel if you were alone and unmarried? Does the idea make you excited or nervous?
  • It is natural to have some fears about divorce, even when you feel like it's the right thing to do, so what worries you the most?
  • If you have children, what can you do during the divorce to make it go easily for them?
  • Does your spouse also want a divorce? Even if you have never talked about it openly, can you tell that you are on the same page? Or do they seem very happy with the way that the marriage is now?

Marriage and divorce with unmet expectations

One reason that couples get divorced is that their expectations for marriage do not line up with the reality of marriage. They feel let down and discouraged. There may not be one big event where their spouse does something wrong, but they know that the marriage is not what they envisioned and not what they wanted.

For some people, it's just the end of the "honeymoon phase." They thought that the marriage would be an endless experience of love and passion. In reality, though, they have to deal with daily life: doing dishes, doing laundry, going to work, taking care of children. It's not all exciting and fun, and the relationship can change drastically.

Can children choose where they want to live?

You're getting divorced, and you want to focus on the best interests of your children. A big part of that means finding them the ideal custody solution. You're willing to do whatever it takes. Yes, you want to protect your own rights to see the kids, but you also want to make sure they're happy with that situation.

If you have young children, in elementary school or younger, they probably will not have much say in the matter. They're too young to really prefer anything or understand what is in their own best interests. You, your ex and the court will have to decide it for them.

Researchers pinpoint a prime age for marriage

Those who want the lowest odds of divorce may find themselves wondering when they should get married. Maybe you've heard that people wait longer than ever to tie the knot these days. Does that have anything to do with the divorce rates?

It does, but only in the sense that many marriages at an "older" age -- at least when compared to previous generations -- tend to last longer. According to researchers, you are best off to get married from 28 years old to 32 years old.

Breath tests need to be calibrated

A breath test, often called a Breathalyzer, is a common test that police officers will use to determine whether or not someone is over the legal limit. They have other options, such as blood tests, but breath tests are one of the most common ways to get a blood alcohol content (BAC) reading. This BAC level can be used to determine if someone is presumed to be impaired.

That said, you do not always want to assume that the breath test is accurate. What if you're not impaired and it says your BAC is at .09 percent or above? You could get arrested, unable to believe that the officer thinks you're drunk.

Setting up a conditional inheritance

Do you want to leave your assets to one of your heirs, but are you worried to, just leave them the money outright? Maybe you want to put certain conditions on it so that you can influence how they live. You want to give them that direction and motivation.

You can do so. One option is to use an incentive trust. You set the conditions, and they only get the money if they meet those conditions, thereby giving them an incentive to do so.

Why does money lead to divorce in the U.S.?

You have probably heard that money is one of the biggest reasons for divorce in the United States. It divides couples. They can't get past it. They end their marriages.

If you're married, you may find yourself wondering why. Why is it that money causes these problems? Is it going to happen to you? What are the odds you get divorced?

Illinois just sold $3.2 million in marijuana

Marijuana continues to become legal around the country. What began in places like Colorado and Washington has now spread to Michigan and, most recently, Illinois.

It appears to be popular. In just one day with legal marijuana, Illinois made about $3.2 million. Even with buying limits, things are selling out. Dispensaries are running dry. One owner said all he had left after one day was a few chocolate bars.

After-Christmas divorces are coming

After Christmas and New Year's Day, the odds of divorce go up. This is divorce season, and many couples opt to end their marriages as the new year begins.

How big is the change? Some have said that they see about 33% more divorce filings after the holidays. It is a spike that is so clear and consistent that they anticipate it every year.


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Kelm & Reuter, P.A.
1287 2nd Street North
Suite 101
Sauk Rapids, MN 56379

Phone: 320-247-4632
Fax: 320-251-2862
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Whatever legal crisis you're facing, let the lawyers of Kelm & Reuter, P.A. help you. Schedule your free consultation today by calling 320-247-4632.