The end of a marriage impacts more than just the divorcing couple. Every parent fears how it will affect their children.
Telling your children you’re divorcing is probably one of the toughest conversations you will ever have. There is no “best” way to go about it, but there are some things you and your co-parent can do to make the conversation a little easier.
Time and place are important
If you’re like most families, it’s hard to find a time when everyone is together. But it’s important to choose a time when you all can sit down calmly without distractions. Avoid telling your children right before school, bedtime or any school or sporting event that requires them to stay focused.
The setting should be private and familiar. A weekend or a quiet evening at home in a comfortable living room or kitchen can provide the necessary space and security for an open conversation. Make sure everyone’s electronic devices are turned off so you can give your children your full attention – and vice versa.
It’s essential to use age-appropriate language. Younger children need clear and simple explanations, while older children and teens may have more questions or require detailed explanations. Be honest but mindful of their emotional maturity.
Reassurance and unity
No matter their age, it’s crucial that they know that their parents love them very much and that the divorce is not their fault. Your children will likely experience a range of emotions while they process the information. Be sure to acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that both parents will continue to care for them and be actively involved in their lives.
Even if you and your partner have differences, now is the time to present a united front. Show them that you are both committed to co-parenting and that your love for your children remains unchanged. Providing a consistent routine will give them a sense of stability.
After the initial conversation, continue to check in with your children and support them emotionally. With your love and reassurance, you are helping your children adapt to this new chapter in your lives.
