Once you have made up your mind to get a divorce, you will need to tell your spouse. Considering how best to do this ahead of time is usually wise.
Here are three things to consider These are particularly important if this is likely to catch them by surprise.
1. Is it safe to do so?
Danger can come in many forms. The clearest one would be if your spouse has a history of violence against you. If this is the case, there’s a strong chance they will react badly and perhaps violently to you telling them it’s over. Getting yourself and any children somewhere safe first and perhaps seeking a protection order may be necessary in such circumstances.
A danger many people might not think of does not involve violence, but raises the chance of an injury to you, them or others. Breaking the news while your spouse is driving, for example, could jeopardize others’ safety as well.
2. Is it a respectful time to do it?
Be sure to avoid a moment that might be viewed as insensitive, such as hours before their mother’s 80th birthday party or right before they have a job interview. For those who work Monday to Friday, doing it on Friday night or Saturday morning may be less disruptive.
3. Have you prepared for any immediate fallout?
Things will change between you as soon as you have this conversation. Some spouses can react badly fast, perhaps trying to cut you off from the bank account or telling you to leave the house. Others might resort to pleading for you to reconsider. Considering possible scenarios in advance can help you be ready for possible immediate consequences. Getting legal guidance to understand your rights and options can be a big help in preparing for this announcement.
